me...

this week has been a bad one. why? everything i did was never enough! i'm running out time!! what went wrong? everything seems not as i planned. i'm so fucked up man. i really can't afford to have this situation at this moment. man i'm tense! at one point, i was thinking of quiting. but i can't because it won't help me to do better in life. it just an escapism. was it not enough of effort? was i fooling around? or the luck hasn't come yet? what should i do? now i'm starting to whine. which is i don't like to do most. but, what should i do now? is this a little set back? i hope. what am i worry the most is the life ahead. how should i face it? all this worries has been running in my mind since last week and this week getting worst. i do really can't afford to be like this. something is beyond my control. i'm suck this risk management? what is that? what am i talking about? this is what happened when i start to panic. i'm totally out of control. damn! but this is life. nothing seems to be in my way all the time. so stop whining you bloody sissy!! get back on the pace! do what i have to do! man you know that this is a little set back. just ignore the obstacles. this is work. i'm a grown up man!! full gear up. if it wasn't me to do this, then who else? i got nobody. i only have me. i'm not a quitter and that for sure!! come on me. im talking to me!! make it happen!!!! show to myself am i worth an applause. come on! stop this pointing out the fingers to others and point back to me!!! it's me!!!

tips to lose...

hello all, Ramadhan is here. so for all my muslim friends, you guys know what you all should do right? fasting la. so here i would like to wish to all my muslim friends, "Selamat menyambut bulan Ramadhan and may Allah bless us with all the goodness of this month" and to all my non muslim friends, you guys should try fasting because why? you can lose up to 5 kg in a month!!! that's why!! and also to detox your body and as for girls, no water retention( if u know what i mean..hehe..) and plus if you guys wanted so much to quit smoking, this is the time to do so. its really simple, just from 7am to 7pm. do not consume any food, water, no smoking until 7pm. but make sure before 7am u eat something that can makes you energize for the rest of the day. so guys try. no harm...write more soon...

my heart says....

my life isn't only about me. its about all. i mean my family, loved one, friends, colleague etc....sometimes i would think, why don't i just think about myself? i can and i did. but what happened then was everything went wrong. you see, it not just thinking about myself, i have to think about everybody as well. it is fun to do something like that but it's not fun when people around you start to complaining about it. i think it's not just about me all the while, its about everything and everyone of us. whatever that i do or what i'm going to do, i have to make sure it will not make others feel "hey that's not right!"...you know what i mean. i cant afford to lose something so precious in my life and at the same time i cant afford to not to do something that i wanted to do most before my time arrives. now everything seems to be cloudy. i sometime can't think straight man( i'm straight okay..hehe). it just went blur. i don't know how to judge the situation. this cant be happening. if not i will pay the high price for it. yesterday everything went wrong. i was acting like a jerk!!! i pity her for my stupidity. i don't know what was i thinking. am i too drunk to think rational? i don't think so....i was still can think. but what fuck i was thinking yesterday? was it because some other think that i having right now? perhaps yes. couldn't i handle it? i could. am i sure? hahaha..guys! all of you are now trapped into my mind game. hahaha....seriously i'm fucked up! this shouldn't be happening. my life isn't that complicated, its me who made it complicated. to whom i should go and find the solution? man i'm able to solve it by my own, it just that i'm too lazy to make it happen. people around the globe, i'm so confused!!!