i feel shitty...

time has run so fast and sometime i think of could not coop with it. many of the thing i'd seen has vanish as time goes by as well as something i used to have last time. for example, my life. my life was very plain and dull in sense of i have everything. it doesn't mean it wasn't interesting. it was but i would rather say it was bored because there was no challenge on it. hehehe..for example my relationship......argh, man i am just annoyed with what i just had. a conversation with.....i just don't understand what does she think? i wish i could understand it more but nope. at this moment, i just annoyed, frustrated and upset. but she 's an adult. so i guess i don't need to think for her as she can think by herself. what good to her is best for her. i just hope that she knows what is she's doing. not in my position to talk anymore. now, i would focus all my strength and thought to other who would want to listen to me only. that's all i can do. shit, i feel shitty..

something about me....

hello everybody....here again...there's something interesting i would love to share to all of you out there...really. i bet all of you can't wait to know what is it about am i right? as i'm writting this entry, tell you guys the truth, i really don't know what to write but i just feel that i need to write something. hahaha....gotcha! yesterday was a fabulous! why? i dont know why. there is no explanation of it. it was just simply incredible, wonderful. i don't want to talk about it more... as for today, i was planning spend the rest of the day by relaxing, rejuvenate myself. in other words, i'm going to make a house spa at home. hahaha!! hey, stop there! this is more interesting man! i just developed a new hobby....reading poems!! i found out it quite interesting as i learn a lot new words but some of it it really give me a headache. but hey, don't you think its cool? i think it is..some of it about life, society, relationship, love, dark, and many more. i don't know where does it come from... i mean the interest. but i think its not to bad. the idea was just for me to get to know the new words that sounds very intergalactic...haha..i think it started when get started to write in this blog. don't you guys think? 7 years back, i bought this one book called sophie's world by jostein gaarder. but that time it was just to impressed my girlfriend back then. i wasn't really read the book...hahaha! but now, i actually feel that i'm really in the situation of the story. doesn't it sound amazing? so...perhaps i just get started enjoying life now. so lets hope it going to last......

goodbye puasa...welcome raya

hello guys....how is everybody? i'm here doing just fine, little bit good than bad a bit less than great. just fine. so here we meet again. i want to share something with you guys out there about raya. it is such an anticipated festival right? i guess so. for kids i think it is but for us, i mean for me i guess not that much awaited because why? i'm more enjoy the fasting month than the raya month. i don't know but for me puasa month is the best of all. when i look back from the starting of the month, i found out there was a lots of activity that i wanted to do most of the years. which i think everybody would agree with me, or not. ok lets discuss why? there is a lots of thing that would happen during this month. things like bump into someone that years you haven't meet before, an old friends call and wish you wishes, bump into exs, meeting long time friends, meet new friends, and many more. if i list it down i think it would be half of the page is full. but the best thing is getting to do something special once in a year with your loved one. breakfast together, pre-dawn meal together. for me, even thought its not that grand event but it just happen once a year. am i right? i do miss it when it over because the experience was just an extraordinary. the feeling of feasting with your loved one is so much different during the month. why? do not ask me that. for sure i cant give you an exact answer.

me...

this week has been a bad one. why? everything i did was never enough! i'm running out time!! what went wrong? everything seems not as i planned. i'm so fucked up man. i really can't afford to have this situation at this moment. man i'm tense! at one point, i was thinking of quiting. but i can't because it won't help me to do better in life. it just an escapism. was it not enough of effort? was i fooling around? or the luck hasn't come yet? what should i do? now i'm starting to whine. which is i don't like to do most. but, what should i do now? is this a little set back? i hope. what am i worry the most is the life ahead. how should i face it? all this worries has been running in my mind since last week and this week getting worst. i do really can't afford to be like this. something is beyond my control. i'm suck this risk management? what is that? what am i talking about? this is what happened when i start to panic. i'm totally out of control. damn! but this is life. nothing seems to be in my way all the time. so stop whining you bloody sissy!! get back on the pace! do what i have to do! man you know that this is a little set back. just ignore the obstacles. this is work. i'm a grown up man!! full gear up. if it wasn't me to do this, then who else? i got nobody. i only have me. i'm not a quitter and that for sure!! come on me. im talking to me!! make it happen!!!! show to myself am i worth an applause. come on! stop this pointing out the fingers to others and point back to me!!! it's me!!!

tips to lose...

hello all, Ramadhan is here. so for all my muslim friends, you guys know what you all should do right? fasting la. so here i would like to wish to all my muslim friends, "Selamat menyambut bulan Ramadhan and may Allah bless us with all the goodness of this month" and to all my non muslim friends, you guys should try fasting because why? you can lose up to 5 kg in a month!!! that's why!! and also to detox your body and as for girls, no water retention( if u know what i mean..hehe..) and plus if you guys wanted so much to quit smoking, this is the time to do so. its really simple, just from 7am to 7pm. do not consume any food, water, no smoking until 7pm. but make sure before 7am u eat something that can makes you energize for the rest of the day. so guys try. no harm...write more soon...

my heart says....

my life isn't only about me. its about all. i mean my family, loved one, friends, colleague etc....sometimes i would think, why don't i just think about myself? i can and i did. but what happened then was everything went wrong. you see, it not just thinking about myself, i have to think about everybody as well. it is fun to do something like that but it's not fun when people around you start to complaining about it. i think it's not just about me all the while, its about everything and everyone of us. whatever that i do or what i'm going to do, i have to make sure it will not make others feel "hey that's not right!"...you know what i mean. i cant afford to lose something so precious in my life and at the same time i cant afford to not to do something that i wanted to do most before my time arrives. now everything seems to be cloudy. i sometime can't think straight man( i'm straight okay..hehe). it just went blur. i don't know how to judge the situation. this cant be happening. if not i will pay the high price for it. yesterday everything went wrong. i was acting like a jerk!!! i pity her for my stupidity. i don't know what was i thinking. am i too drunk to think rational? i don't think so....i was still can think. but what fuck i was thinking yesterday? was it because some other think that i having right now? perhaps yes. couldn't i handle it? i could. am i sure? hahaha..guys! all of you are now trapped into my mind game. hahaha....seriously i'm fucked up! this shouldn't be happening. my life isn't that complicated, its me who made it complicated. to whom i should go and find the solution? man i'm able to solve it by my own, it just that i'm too lazy to make it happen. people around the globe, i'm so confused!!!

L.O.V.E

Hi I'm a new person in the house(in the sense that I've never written anything in the blog before). Haha this guy by the name of Wan is an extraordinary person. Do you wanna know why?I'll let u know next time. So stay tuned...


Guess it will be too long if I wanna wait till next time to write again. Working is never an easy job to be accomplished. I have a friend who is studying in UM and she constantly tell me that study is a very tough job to do. Yes I agreed but deep inside me there is nothing in the world that comes easy. Working in a giant company that has lots of competitors is nevertheless more stressful than ever. So many people vying among each other to show that they are the best in everything. Those who can't stand the pressure will opt to leave. But not for me.Life is never easy. My members told me about that. My favourite member Khai said life is actually a struggle. Wan,my colleagues and I are always struggling to provide the best to the members, the company and of course to ourselves. I admire the spirit fired out by Wan. Albeit being strained to the neck on improvising on well u know what I meant, he will still provide his best service to members. Giving up,white flag, surrender will never ever exist in his dictionary. Always supporting and encouraging he's really a good pal (not as loyal as a dog though, hehe). That is also why he is so funny. Whenever he fights with me and of course when he loses he will say that he did not lose but he fought with love and he is just giving me faces whereby he has been bruised by me all over. Haha luckily his Bentara Guru doesn't know bout it. Quite an egoistic man I will say. But whatever it is he is truly a great guy. Forever supportive.