me...

this week has been a bad one. why? everything i did was never enough! i'm running out time!! what went wrong? everything seems not as i planned. i'm so fucked up man. i really can't afford to have this situation at this moment. man i'm tense! at one point, i was thinking of quiting. but i can't because it won't help me to do better in life. it just an escapism. was it not enough of effort? was i fooling around? or the luck hasn't come yet? what should i do? now i'm starting to whine. which is i don't like to do most. but, what should i do now? is this a little set back? i hope. what am i worry the most is the life ahead. how should i face it? all this worries has been running in my mind since last week and this week getting worst. i do really can't afford to be like this. something is beyond my control. i'm suck this risk management? what is that? what am i talking about? this is what happened when i start to panic. i'm totally out of control. damn! but this is life. nothing seems to be in my way all the time. so stop whining you bloody sissy!! get back on the pace! do what i have to do! man you know that this is a little set back. just ignore the obstacles. this is work. i'm a grown up man!! full gear up. if it wasn't me to do this, then who else? i got nobody. i only have me. i'm not a quitter and that for sure!! come on me. im talking to me!! make it happen!!!! show to myself am i worth an applause. come on! stop this pointing out the fingers to others and point back to me!!! it's me!!!

tips to lose...

hello all, Ramadhan is here. so for all my muslim friends, you guys know what you all should do right? fasting la. so here i would like to wish to all my muslim friends, "Selamat menyambut bulan Ramadhan and may Allah bless us with all the goodness of this month" and to all my non muslim friends, you guys should try fasting because why? you can lose up to 5 kg in a month!!! that's why!! and also to detox your body and as for girls, no water retention( if u know what i mean..hehe..) and plus if you guys wanted so much to quit smoking, this is the time to do so. its really simple, just from 7am to 7pm. do not consume any food, water, no smoking until 7pm. but make sure before 7am u eat something that can makes you energize for the rest of the day. so guys try. no harm...write more soon...

my heart says....

my life isn't only about me. its about all. i mean my family, loved one, friends, colleague etc....sometimes i would think, why don't i just think about myself? i can and i did. but what happened then was everything went wrong. you see, it not just thinking about myself, i have to think about everybody as well. it is fun to do something like that but it's not fun when people around you start to complaining about it. i think it's not just about me all the while, its about everything and everyone of us. whatever that i do or what i'm going to do, i have to make sure it will not make others feel "hey that's not right!"...you know what i mean. i cant afford to lose something so precious in my life and at the same time i cant afford to not to do something that i wanted to do most before my time arrives. now everything seems to be cloudy. i sometime can't think straight man( i'm straight okay..hehe). it just went blur. i don't know how to judge the situation. this cant be happening. if not i will pay the high price for it. yesterday everything went wrong. i was acting like a jerk!!! i pity her for my stupidity. i don't know what was i thinking. am i too drunk to think rational? i don't think so....i was still can think. but what fuck i was thinking yesterday? was it because some other think that i having right now? perhaps yes. couldn't i handle it? i could. am i sure? hahaha..guys! all of you are now trapped into my mind game. hahaha....seriously i'm fucked up! this shouldn't be happening. my life isn't that complicated, its me who made it complicated. to whom i should go and find the solution? man i'm able to solve it by my own, it just that i'm too lazy to make it happen. people around the globe, i'm so confused!!!

L.O.V.E

Hi I'm a new person in the house(in the sense that I've never written anything in the blog before). Haha this guy by the name of Wan is an extraordinary person. Do you wanna know why?I'll let u know next time. So stay tuned...


Guess it will be too long if I wanna wait till next time to write again. Working is never an easy job to be accomplished. I have a friend who is studying in UM and she constantly tell me that study is a very tough job to do. Yes I agreed but deep inside me there is nothing in the world that comes easy. Working in a giant company that has lots of competitors is nevertheless more stressful than ever. So many people vying among each other to show that they are the best in everything. Those who can't stand the pressure will opt to leave. But not for me.Life is never easy. My members told me about that. My favourite member Khai said life is actually a struggle. Wan,my colleagues and I are always struggling to provide the best to the members, the company and of course to ourselves. I admire the spirit fired out by Wan. Albeit being strained to the neck on improvising on well u know what I meant, he will still provide his best service to members. Giving up,white flag, surrender will never ever exist in his dictionary. Always supporting and encouraging he's really a good pal (not as loyal as a dog though, hehe). That is also why he is so funny. Whenever he fights with me and of course when he loses he will say that he did not lose but he fought with love and he is just giving me faces whereby he has been bruised by me all over. Haha luckily his Bentara Guru doesn't know bout it. Quite an egoistic man I will say. But whatever it is he is truly a great guy. Forever supportive.

angel on fire....

this is a sad story to tell you guys...but i will do my best to deliver it to you guys out there.... so here we go....i'm really trap between situation that i thought i can be a peacekeeper....like the UN, but its appear the other way around. my intention here is to become a friend for both of them, but end up just one of them sees me as a friend not the other one..the other one even cursed me!! i'm being labelled as two faces la, not honest la, too cute la, that's just nasi tambah...hehe ...mmmm...what should i do? i was born to be cute, come on!! i do my best to keep it easy for everybody but the grudge is deep. it wasn't my intention to keep one party only, i would do anything to keep them both!!! i hope they can see my real intention soon..no hidden agenda..its truly because of friendship. sometime i think why do i bother to help them? why do i bother to take notice about their problem? why? i don't know why i willing jumped into their problem at first place...maybe that time i wasn't aware this could be happen. and trust me, if i aware of it, i wouldn't dare to put myself in this situation. but past is past. i don't care what anymore....but i'm truly sad..

simply fine..

this morning i woke up early man. do you guys want to know why? i have to be in axis p.j around 8.45 am for photo shooting. it was for my profile that will be stick on the wall for the members to get to know me more better. hahaha...i don't know what does it sounds like but its good though. so last night i locked my alarm at 6.30am. man i was so excited!! but end up woke up at 7.20am..hehehe thanks to mama. if not i will still be in bed now...i took a very quick shower, and took off around 7.30am...haha quick rite? so..here we go, i arrived around 8.20am, and i still have 20 minutes left rite? i did number 2 and anything else la. when the time arrived, i went down stairs for the session. then i found out that i was the only one who arrived. the rest of the trainers still haven't arrive yet. argh!! nevermind, its my fault. i was forgot about the k.l timing. when it says 8.45am its mean 9.15am!!! duh..lets go to the story..so when everybody arrived, the session get started la. i was the 4th person on the list. first it was 2 guys from manulife. then hezree. hezree session took quite sometime because he's wearing a specs rite? so the photographer had to adjust hezree position to not let the reflection of his specs gonna appear in the photo. then my turn, while the photo guy was setting up my position, i was look at the photo that hezree took and its appeared to be ok la. and i was ask to stand on the position. it just took me a while only for my session. i was surprised my boss so handsome and lean!!! that wrote by him..mmm..i was so surprised it took me just a while and i felt like being cheated man . i ask the photo guy,

" why so quick one? are u trying to con me?" then he said, "oh no, we dont have an intention to cheat you, you just simply photogenic"...end of the story... hahahahaha

brain storming!!!

i just can't see how you guys out there can stand for an hours sitting in front of P.C and write a long story for publish it to the internet. what makes it so fascinating ha? its hard for me to do so. i just read one blog just now, it was recommended by my fiancee. it's called,

" SEMUSIM DI NERAKA"

from what i heard, this blog quiet popular and even had been review in the newspaper last time. so i decided to check out what really makes it so popular. and i found out it was quiet entertaining. but not entertain enough as mine..(hahahahaha) just kidding. i couldn't believe that this dude can write that many stories. i think he better get a job as an editor at suratkhabar METRO. he's good!! and from there i got this idea what am i writting now. for me it's quiet challenging. i never train my brain to go beyond my capabilities of thinking. this is extraordinary for me if you guys out there want to know. but now i'm jammed!! shit!! see you soon la..